Today is Saturday, a day given to honor the Roman god Saturn; god of time, seasons and revelry. I honor this day with a man-lunch and a man-movie. Spam and “Bourne Ultimatum”.

Spam manwhich: 60% Spam, 40% bread, 30% ketchup, 25% mustard, 30% lettuce. 100% delicious. As a man, I usually like to go out into the woods and hunt my own spam, but my rocket launcher thingy is in the shop. It’s not loud enough. I want a bigger loudner installed. A chrome one. Next Saturday I will track and gut my own spam. (“track” and “gut” are man words. I heard them on TV)

I have my rack of spam, my controls in their holsters and a rusty fork with a bit of raw spam dangling from the end. It’s time…

I just burped. It was manly.